Lesson(s) Learned

Things I have learned as a new mom:

• The first three to four weeks after bringing home your child are insane, especially if you're new to the whole parenting business. Next time, I'll try to remember: It. Gets. Better.
• I thought Oahu roads were bad... Then I pushed my sleeping newborn in a stroller on our sidewalks. Yikes!
• Just when you think you're FINALLY settling into a schedule, things change.
• eg: weekends
• I thought maternity leave would allow me to catch up on DVRed shows while rocking my new little bundle of joy. Reality: My DVR is fuller than ever, and that's ok with me. I've got something better to watch.
• Losing baby weight is no problem... There's no time to eat! Ha!
• The best gift anyone can give new parents is food. (On the off chance there's time to eat, there is definitely no time to cook!)
• All the chores that would take me a week to finish before Ella arrived can now get completed in one nap time.
• There is no longer such a thing as procrastinating. If I see something that needs to get done, and I don't do it right then, it's not going to get done. Something else will come up.
• If a baby poops, wait a few minutes. They're probably not done. (Lesson learned the hard way... I think our record is 5 diapers in one changing session.) Oh, which leads to another point
• Diapers ARE NOT CHEAP! And babies go through them fast!
• My parents highly enjoy listening to my stories of parenthood, and then sharing a good laugh together after we hang up the phone. (Ah, the joys of being a grandparent, and having your kids experience what you went through... Right, Mom and Dad?!)
• Not all babies are the same, and comparing stories with other mommies will only accomplish one of three things*:
• Provide you with helpful information
• Make you jealous
• Make you wonder if something is wrong with your child, which leads to another no-no... Google-ing.
• * Note to self: Two out of three are bad, so stop comparing!
• Getting out of the house is an accomplishment. Getting out of the house and remembering everything you need, including the baby, deserves an award! (Right, Greg?! Always double check that the baby carrier actually has the baby in it.)
• A little spit up and poop never hurt anyone.
• Grandparents are awesome. Having three sets of them is even better.
• The drier is not shrinking your newborn's clothes. They're actually growing. You just don't notice because you see them all day, every day.
• All the things I swore I'd never do as a parent (like lick my finger and wipe her face) happened in the first week of her life. 
• The "I don't want to sleep and you can't make me" cry during nap time is both heart-wrenching and insanely cute because it is soooo fake. 
• Your fur baby becomes a D-O-G. Please don't tell Lili. Poor thing.
• Dads are essential and amazing. What a tough job to work all day and then come home and give Mom a break.
• Daddy paternity leave is a blessing. We got lucky that Greg was able to take vacation and then work from home. Four weeks of help was amazing, and gave us all a time to bond, and to figure things out.
• Ella got lucky in the Daddy category. She has one of the best.
• Having a child does not divide your love for your partner in half... It doubles it.
• There is no way to turn off "mommy mode", and no way to get around the fierce need to protect and look out for your child.
• There is no job more difficult, yet no job more rewarding, than being a parent.
• Children are TRULY a blessing from the Lord. 

Our First Weeks

Dear Isabella,

   I can't believe you're almost three weeks old! (And I can't believe I've been trying to post this for the last week and a half... Seems something, or rather someone, now occupies all of our time.) You came into this world one stubborn little lady, and things haven't changed since. 

   You refused to come out on your due date (or even a little early as Mom had hoped), and ended up staying in exactly one extra week. Why not, right, when you got lots of Christmas cookies that everyone baked for your pregnant mommy and excited daddy, as well as tons of french toast that Mommy was craving (and Dad so loving prepared). I'd stay in, too! Thankfully, my labor was pretty easy, considering I was induced and it could have taken up to 3-4 days, and only lasted for about 19 hours. Not sure you're going to have any siblings at this point, but we'll explore that option again sometime later (when Mommy starts to forget everything that happened and just sees you). 

   We figure you stayed in an extra couple of days so you could celebrate Eli's first birthday with him in Heaven, too. I remember the first night I had you at home, I was rocking you to sleep, and you smiled this huge smile... I whispered in your ear and asked if you were playing with Eli in your dreams, and you smiled again. I asked you to tell him hello and that we loved him, and you squeaked your cute little squeak, and then about 5 seconds later, you did it again. Mommy took that as Eli saying hello back, and then proceeded to cry all over you. Sorry about that. 

   Since then, we've had our ups and downs... lots of sleepless nights, trouble with feeding, tummy issues, and those sorts of things... but the good is outweighing the bad. As soon as you came out, we knew God had saved one of his most precious angels for us. Dad and I couldn't believe that we had made something so beautiful. Not sure where you got your looks from, but baby, you're the most perfect little girl I've seen. We love sitting and watching all the faces you make, listening to all of your new baby noises, and trying to enjoy every moment of parenthood. We know this newborn phase will pass quickly, and we'll miss these moments soon enough. (Maybe not the five hours of crying in the middle of the night, or the endless need to feed during growth spurts, but who knows...)

   When Daddy first saw you, he told me that your birth was the most amazing day of his life. (All you had to do was be born, and you easily surpassed the day your dad and I met, our engagement day, our wedding day... pretty much 10 and a half years of just the two of us, out the window. I guess I can take a step aside and let you hold the honor of "best day," sweet girl.) Daddy also proceeded to tell me at some point during your first week, amongst his comments of "Wow, she's so cute," that he definitely had his work cut out for him in the future, keeping all the boys away. He's right! And man, can I just tell you for a minute what an amazing dad you have? He wakes up with us for every feeding during the night to change your diaper and to swaddle you after. He provides extra hands to me during the day when I need a minute, cleans up around the house like I used to do (because all my time is dedicated to you right now), reads stories to you from your children's bible, and just enjoys the quiet moments of holding you. You are so lucky to have him as your daddy. He told me the other day can't wait for you to be big enough to play in our neighborhood park. I'm excited to continue to watch your relationship grow as you grow, little one.

   You also have a very loving golden retriever, who couldn't quite figure out what was making those squeaking noises the first day we brought you home (the only thing that squeaks around here are her toys, and you're definitely not a toy). Since then, Lili has become a very protective older sister, making sure to stay close by your. She joins us in your room for each feeding, laying at Mommy's feet, she watches over you when visitors come and hold you, and she even nudged Dad one night when both he and I slept through your whimpering because we were so exhausted. You two are sure to have fun together soon, and potentially cause a lot of trouble. I can't wait!

   I've included a few pictures below that I took during your first week home. I made the quilt you're laying on, and hope to take your monthly pictures on that so we can track your growth. There's also a picture of you in your bassinet in our room, and you on your changing table in your room. And, of course, a picture of you with your dad. Melt my heart!

   Ella, we can't wait to continue this adventure of parenthood with you. So many people have come to see you and love on you. We can't believe you're finally here, and you're all ours to love on and raise to be a woman who is strong in her faith, who values her family, and who loves herself and life. We can't wait to see all that you'll become.

   Our love,

   Mom and Dad

Belly Week by Week

Dear Ella,

   You're already here, but I figured I should wrap up the rest of the belly pictures since I never had a chance to before your arrival. Even I can't believe how much my tummy changed over the weeks. You actually stayed in for 41 weeks, but Mommy and Daddy were in the hospital in the middle of contractions that day, so there's no picture to show how much bigger I'd gotten in one last week. Not to worry, though... We have plenty of pictures of you from that day, which is what really matters!

   Love you, baby girl.

Mommy

Did you know you have a brother?

Dear Isabella,
   Did you know you have a brother? Today, you are 23 weeks and 6 days old. You are the exact same age as he was when he went to Heaven. God designed your brother Eli perfectly. He knew that Eli's sickness would change Mommy and Daddy's life in a way they would have never expected, and despite the sadness of the situation, God used Eli for good. So many people have heard Eli's story, and know our testimony, and God decided that your brother had done such a good job in such a short time, that he was ready to go home early. And if Eli hadn't gone home early, we wouldn't be expecting our next miracle... you!
   God has great plans for your life, too, Isabella. They are different than your brother's, but they are similar, too. He wants you to let others know about Him. He wants you to live in a way that when people see you, they see Him, too. It's a big mission, but Dad and I know you're up for the challenge. You're such a mover and shaker already inside Mommy, with moments of quiet grace, and we are assured that this will be reflective when you arrive.
   My only request right now is that you stay put and don't arrive early. I know you don't have much control over this, but we had a bit of a scare this week that landed us right back in Labor & Delivery. It's a place we love (the nurses and doctors are amazing... I can't wait for you to meet them!), but also a place that brings back lots of scary and sad memories. It was probably my fault that we were there, since I had a really busy three-day weekend and probably worked myself a little too hard, but sometimes when you move and kick I hold my breath, convinced that you're trying to break out. So keep growing, and keep developing those muscles, but stay put for just a while longer. I know it feels like you're running out of growing room (don't worry, Mommy doesn't quite know where she's going to store you yet, either!), but I hear that the body finds a way of making more room, so take up as much space as you need!
   Speaking of moving and kicking, you're quite the entertaining one, Ella. Whenever there is a loud noise, you wake up with a start! You're probably adjusting to the new ability to hear, and I'm sorry if I've scared you. Things such as the ice machine, the vacuum, the hair drier, and loud crowd noises at football games send you into a frenzy of jolts. It makes me laugh a little, since this is really our first form of interaction, but makes me feel guilty at the same time. That protective motherly instinct is in high gear already! I'm hoping that by the time you're born, loud noises won't bother you, especially during nap times. The house has to stay clean, I'm going to have to get ice at some point, and a shower and doing my hair once in a while would be nice. I'm sure during most naps I'll be joining you, but we'll have to work on the noise issue at some point.
   That's all for now, little one. We're very excited that tomorrow you will be 24 weeks... a huge milestone in your development. It's the point when doctors consider you viable, and each week that you stay in from here on out, the chances of us meeting a healthy baby girl increase rapidly. We love you, and know that you're guardian angel, Eli, is watching over you, too, convincing Heaven that this little angel (you) needs to be an earthly one for quite a while. :)
   Love, Mom (and Dad, too!)

Tummy Time...

Dear Isabella...

   I'm a little bit behind on sharing images of you with the world. Let's note that I'd love to post pictures of your precious face here as well, but at every ultrasound you've hidden. The doctors have been able to see that your face is forming perfectly (two eyes, a nose, a mouth, no cleft palate...), but right when they get ready to switch to 3D or 4D, or to try to get a profile shot of you, you wiggle your cute little self so that you're facing my spine. Guess you want us to wait until December to see you! Daddy and I are willing to wait, precious girl. What an exciting Christmas we're going to have!
    We've confirmed twice now that you're a girl. The first time, you were tucked away in a little corner inside Mommy, and it took a minute to try to see if you were going to be an "Ella" or a "Jeremiah". The ultrasound tech, Kathy, finally got a good peek, and she let us figure out what you were, before confirming that she was indeed 99% sure that you were in fact a girl. (Daddy chimed in here and said, "Inconclusive!" and then threw in "Let's ask the baby for directions. Then we'll know for sure.") Dr. O came in after, and announced your gender by saying, "It's expensive!" and then writing "$$$$$$$$$" on your ultrasound picture instead of the standard "It's a Girl!". We love Dr. O and his wise-cracks! Since the main ultrasound pictures we have of you are "gender reveal" ones, I'm going to spare you future embarrassment and not post them online.
    I do have a few tummy shots, though, and thought I'd post them so that those who love you and are praying for you can see how you've grown.

(taken 7/18/12, 15w 2d)

(taken 7/15/12, 16w 2d)

(Taken 8/19/12, 21w 2d)

Keep growing, little Miss Ella. Only 19 short weeks until we welcome you to this world.

Love, Mommy